"My philosophy of nursing is based on my belief that every client deserves treatment and care that upholds and respects the dignity and sanctity of human life. Regardless the circumstances, compassionate and holistic care should be the result of every nurse-client encounter. I believe that all individuals should be able to have unhindered access to comprehensive and individualized holistic care that is free from judgement and discrimination."
what i learned from my former mentor
it's hard to believe that our pre-consolidation semester is finally done!! all that's left for me is one exam tomorrow (that i am putting off studying for, clearly, by writing this post) and my fall semester evaluation for my nursing practice course. i've been in post-secondary for 4 years and it still surprises me how fast time goes by. it gets more and more bittersweet the closer we get to graduation-- emails reminding us to apply for graduation and to book our grad photos fill my inbox and it honestly gets me more and more pumped to cross that stage, shake hands and get my placeholder diploma, and wait for all my friends to do the same.
but before i get ahead of myself, i want to write a post dedicated to my former mentor and favourite preceptor, who i did not expect to impact my life so greatly. i've talked about him few times to those willing to listen, but i think the stories that i tell them barely scratch the surface. my preceptor (who i won't mention here in case someone googles his name and finds my blog LOL) was eager to guide and teach me from the get go. as soon as i arrived on the units, there was no "hello nice to meet you!"-- instead, there was just "i do things fast, so try your best to keep up"--until our break at 8:30. it was then when the introductions took place: the hugs, the cards, the treats, and the warm welcome. right at the beginning, i could tell how dedicated he was to his work, putting his patients first and celebrations for later.
He taught me more than just what he needed to as a nursing preceptor. Here are just a few of the (non-nursing related) things that I've learned during our time together:
but before i get ahead of myself, i want to write a post dedicated to my former mentor and favourite preceptor, who i did not expect to impact my life so greatly. i've talked about him few times to those willing to listen, but i think the stories that i tell them barely scratch the surface. my preceptor (who i won't mention here in case someone googles his name and finds my blog LOL) was eager to guide and teach me from the get go. as soon as i arrived on the units, there was no "hello nice to meet you!"-- instead, there was just "i do things fast, so try your best to keep up"--until our break at 8:30. it was then when the introductions took place: the hugs, the cards, the treats, and the warm welcome. right at the beginning, i could tell how dedicated he was to his work, putting his patients first and celebrations for later.
He taught me more than just what he needed to as a nursing preceptor. Here are just a few of the (non-nursing related) things that I've learned during our time together:
- The Importance of Squatting - I've had my gym membership with Goodlife for as almost as long as i've been working at mcdonalds, and that membership was not cheap. for a good few months there would be times where i would not go the gym at all. it almost feels like i've gone to the gym and actually worked out since september than i can remember from any other time of the year. it just so happened that as i began to push myself in the summer to go by myself to stay in shape (since april, my sister, and alanis all dropped their memberships to that gym), i also met my preceptor who is a super fitness freak. Squatting and gym jokes became part of our routine ("did you go to the gym this week?" "..." "i knew it"); it also motivated me to go, even when i didn't have the energy for it, just for the satisfaction of saying "yes i did". obviously, i didn't go to the gym for that reason alone. but it really gave me another push towards realizing how much i enjoy exercising and feeling strong! not to lose weight, but to reach my goal in building muscle to stop being a lanky bean so that i can do patient transfers with more confidence (since i'll be super deezed!)
- Coordinating your Scrubs - as a student, we don't get much leeway to express ourselves in our uniform. it's an ill-fitting uniform at best (the v-neck scoop is too low to be practical and the crotch in the pants so awkward). however, literally every single day i came in for a shift, my preceptor was coordinated literally from head to toe. From the colour of the pen caps, to the colour of his pencil topper eraser, his lanyard, and even his shoe laces and socks.. i'm not even exaggerating, it was impressive. he says its because men don't have that much variety in scrubs, so he does his best to make it work. but his uniform has come up as a topic of conversation, even from the patients. sometimes i think about what kind of scrubs i want to wear when i can wear whatever i want-- might opt for something a lot more practical (i.e. a good fit, sans deep v neck line, lots of pockets) but might have to draw inspiration from how dedicated he was to getting every detail right. he says he does it to brighten the days of his patients. i admire that.
- The Power of Prayer - from the looks of him, i wouldn't have expected him to be so devoted to his faith. but here we were, my second day there during our break, when he starts talking about how he got hit by car at age 14/15 somewhere along Birchmount Rd. when his life turned around and thus started his journey to pursue God. but it was amazing. his stories literally made me cry every single time. so tragic, so sad. you couldn't even tell this was his life when you see a guy who is also so happy and eager to help his patients. i was so intrigued to learn more & listen to his testimonies of faith, and i think that where the foundation of our friendship was developed. he taught me a lot of things surrounding our shared Catholic faith, and it came at a good time in my life. after going "wayward" (as he called it), halfway through this undergrad, doubting everything, doing things i couldn't imagine myself ever doing, and only starting to make my way back to him, i was really trying to get my feet back on the ground. trying to get a grasp on what it means to pursue holiness, to live that #BestLifeEver, seeking my purpose, and trying to make heads and tails of God's Love and His Plan for Me™. honestly i think he might have changed my life LOL. he's shown me to just be the best version of yourself. He's redefined what it means to F.L.EX, aka what it means to be a Faithful Living EXample. and i aspire to be as true to myself as i possibly can, even if it means people think i'm nutty for being a "Jesus Girl". the more you seek God, the more He will reveal Himself to you, and that is so rewarding in itself. "If God is for me, what can stand against me?"
- Love is Sacrifice - "love is sacrifice." Nice, what movie did he steal that line from? But in all seriousness, hearing that from him moved me. considering his current situation in his marriage, i cried. Like a baby. Love truly is sacrifice. He respects the sanctity of marriage so much so that he's done so much for the sake of keeping his family together. i wonder how he hasn't broken into pieces yet, when he's stretched so thin. it's dedication, it's pain, it's sacrifice. when he says things like, "i would have left my wife a long time ago..." or, "she's free to leave whenever she wants" or even, "it's painful getting the cold shoulder for 14 years, but i know it's the illness", it breaks my heart. He says, marry a person because you love them for who they are, not because you want to change them. Love them through sickness and in health. and his dedication and his love for his wife and family despite the hardships is an example of that sacrifice.
- Not Everyone is Perfect - despite how much i admire him, i know he's not perfect. Heck, when we went to watch Thor, he fought with a lady to move over from our AVX reserved seats even though the theatre was hella empty. even though he squats and lifts and bench presses at Fit4Less at the ungodly hour of 4AM, i know he is far from perfect. i can tell how much hurt and sorrow and regret and burden he carries on his shoulders, but this man does it all for God. how incredible is that?? even in his nursing practice, as awesome as he is, he makes mistakes too. he gets frustrated with the politics of the workplace, he gets frustrated with nurses who complain instead of getting work done, he gets frustrated with American doctors who prescribe stool softeners and laxatives for all their patients which means we have to change incontinent briefs too frequently for whats supposed to be a "Cardiac Services" floor. getting that text from him, "hey feeling sad and depressed. not sure if nursing is for me anymoe.." made me feel so sad because even the best of the best have it hard. Those who are so dedicated to what they do get worn down, battered, and exhausted. It's human.
after all that's said and done, i wish i could go back in time and appreciate every single moment even more. Never would i have found such a meaningful friend in him. I tried my best not to take it all for granted, considering how fulfilling of an experience my time was on that team & unit. but as he said, God is calling for the next chapter to happen in my life, so who am I to stop Him? i've learned all that i could under his mentorship, and i know our friendship will go beyond be passing the NCLEX and getting my RN. i look forward to even texting him the link to my convocation live stream, just so he can watch me get my diploma LOL. our time together has only fueled my excitement for the future even more, & because of that, my heart is so full.
Thank you for everything.
Thank you for everything.
1 more clinical shift!
it's been a busy past few weeks, but to be honest it feels really awesome to look back on my progress and see my accomplishments in how far i've come. it may seem silly or something that a 2nd year would say, but i feel proud when i do a skill correctly and confidently. i also feel proud when i delegated a task from a second year, or tried to involve them in the care. i also felt great when i was able to draw together information and come to an accurate clinical judgements and decisions (even something as simple as understanding that a pt on blood thinners would bleed more and so more pressure needs to be applied upon catheter removal-- which no one told me!! and i figured out after she started bleeding all over my gloves and through the gauze).
while i know i am far from ready, i am trying to keep my hopes up in the coming future. the consolidation semester is fast approaching, and I really need to step up my game in being able to conduct myself and think like a nurse... no longer a nursing student, but a nurse! fingers crossed that the preceptor and placement that i get will be amazing, although I have no doubt in God's plan after my experience with Roe and T-9. i realize that, coming so close to graduation and to the ""Adult life"" of a career (peace out mcdonalds!!!) that there is a need for me to live up to that responsibility. which means i need to conduct myself professionally more i.e. going to networking events, connecting with my profs, stop being shy
4th year is a transition that, although a year long, is going by so fast. considering i feel like i have just graduated high school not too long ago, and look even moreso, it can be pretty daunting. but i have all my trust in the Lord in good things to come-- which may not be easy, of course-- and to Him be all the glory in my successes, failures, and hardships. because i know they're all lessons to learn from.
while i know i am far from ready, i am trying to keep my hopes up in the coming future. the consolidation semester is fast approaching, and I really need to step up my game in being able to conduct myself and think like a nurse... no longer a nursing student, but a nurse! fingers crossed that the preceptor and placement that i get will be amazing, although I have no doubt in God's plan after my experience with Roe and T-9. i realize that, coming so close to graduation and to the ""Adult life"" of a career (peace out mcdonalds!!!) that there is a need for me to live up to that responsibility. which means i need to conduct myself professionally more i.e. going to networking events, connecting with my profs, stop being shy
4th year is a transition that, although a year long, is going by so fast. considering i feel like i have just graduated high school not too long ago, and look even moreso, it can be pretty daunting. but i have all my trust in the Lord in good things to come-- which may not be easy, of course-- and to Him be all the glory in my successes, failures, and hardships. because i know they're all lessons to learn from.
half-way through the semester thoughts & thanksgiving feels
lemme tell you something-- every time reading week comes around, it's always a shocker because i never realize how fast the weeks go by. 12 weeks a semester feels too short and it honestly feels like you blink once and suddenly it's exam season.
the past few weeks have been stressful, as I started off the school year with group assignments- the HESI case study facilitation and the NSE 407 presentation. That 407 presentation was stressful bc my group, as much as i respect them and like them, was so difficult for us to get together and I understand why.. i mean it's virtually impossible to get a group of 7 together when everyone has completely difference schedules, PLUS the difference in clinical shifts! But it was just frustrating knowing that we weren't really getting anywhere... but anyway, we finished the presentation with an 85% which is honestly pretty good considering we bullshitted our way through it. Sometimes group presentations are too much!
I've finished 6 clinical shifts so far I've learned so much. Every time I leave the floor, I learn so much more about nursing-- both the art and science of it. and I also learn about the meaning of being a Catholic from my preceptor, who never fails to move my heart in a way that makes me yearn to know Christ even more. and with my 21st birthday coming up, I'm just so thankful for all the great things i've experienced so far and all the blessings to be had. Life truly is a privilege, not a right.. I'm privileged by God to exist and pass through this word, loving others the way Christ did before us.
i've seen a patient die slowly, and although my preceptor had a feeling he would die and told me, i wasn't really prepared to see it happen. after all, i've only gone to one funeral a couple weeks before and death was an unfamiliar experience to me. while the failure to locate a radial pulse, failing to get a BP reading, and auscultating the chest to listen to the heart and hearing nothing was a cool experience, it was what my preceptor did that touched me even more-- we fixed up his bed and body and got him ready to pass a for the family to visit-- and my preceptor closed the patient's eyes and i found myself crying that i needed to step away for a moment to collect myself.
bella invited me to her birthday party and i was so touched and happy that she invited me-- it was so long since i've partied with them and seen them!!! i brought along allan just cause i thought he would enjoy going, and he did-- even though he was DD, im so glad he enjoyed himself. it was soo nice to see the others be happy to see him. i even caught up with Nayve which made me really happy!! he's so cute. but it was a fun night and just hyped me up for my own birthday bashes!!!!
finally, the HESI exit exam was a bit discouraging, scoring below the national average and the recommended average needed to positively predict a passing NCLEX score, but i'm even more determined to review and study and do even better for the next time. Considering i didnt study and that I was extremely constipated, i thought i did okay, i mean 60% is pretty good... right?! obviously if i wrote the NCLEX right here and now i would have wasted $300 and 4 hours of my life. Lol. so im trying to figure out a study guide to review all my weak points before the winter HESI exam (which is worth 25% lol).
Overall, my goal by december is to be able to feel more competent as a nurse. i already know my heart is going to break into a million pieces when my time on the unit is over. I will miss that team so much so i can see are really so much like family. but most of all, i will miss working with my preceptor. maybe we can remain friends... prayer buddies.. i dont know. i'll be sad not being able to learn and see him every week but we'll see what God has in store for me, moving forward!!
the past few weeks have been stressful, as I started off the school year with group assignments- the HESI case study facilitation and the NSE 407 presentation. That 407 presentation was stressful bc my group, as much as i respect them and like them, was so difficult for us to get together and I understand why.. i mean it's virtually impossible to get a group of 7 together when everyone has completely difference schedules, PLUS the difference in clinical shifts! But it was just frustrating knowing that we weren't really getting anywhere... but anyway, we finished the presentation with an 85% which is honestly pretty good considering we bullshitted our way through it. Sometimes group presentations are too much!
I've finished 6 clinical shifts so far I've learned so much. Every time I leave the floor, I learn so much more about nursing-- both the art and science of it. and I also learn about the meaning of being a Catholic from my preceptor, who never fails to move my heart in a way that makes me yearn to know Christ even more. and with my 21st birthday coming up, I'm just so thankful for all the great things i've experienced so far and all the blessings to be had. Life truly is a privilege, not a right.. I'm privileged by God to exist and pass through this word, loving others the way Christ did before us.
i've seen a patient die slowly, and although my preceptor had a feeling he would die and told me, i wasn't really prepared to see it happen. after all, i've only gone to one funeral a couple weeks before and death was an unfamiliar experience to me. while the failure to locate a radial pulse, failing to get a BP reading, and auscultating the chest to listen to the heart and hearing nothing was a cool experience, it was what my preceptor did that touched me even more-- we fixed up his bed and body and got him ready to pass a for the family to visit-- and my preceptor closed the patient's eyes and i found myself crying that i needed to step away for a moment to collect myself.
bella invited me to her birthday party and i was so touched and happy that she invited me-- it was so long since i've partied with them and seen them!!! i brought along allan just cause i thought he would enjoy going, and he did-- even though he was DD, im so glad he enjoyed himself. it was soo nice to see the others be happy to see him. i even caught up with Nayve which made me really happy!! he's so cute. but it was a fun night and just hyped me up for my own birthday bashes!!!!
finally, the HESI exit exam was a bit discouraging, scoring below the national average and the recommended average needed to positively predict a passing NCLEX score, but i'm even more determined to review and study and do even better for the next time. Considering i didnt study and that I was extremely constipated, i thought i did okay, i mean 60% is pretty good... right?! obviously if i wrote the NCLEX right here and now i would have wasted $300 and 4 hours of my life. Lol. so im trying to figure out a study guide to review all my weak points before the winter HESI exam (which is worth 25% lol).
Overall, my goal by december is to be able to feel more competent as a nurse. i already know my heart is going to break into a million pieces when my time on the unit is over. I will miss that team so much so i can see are really so much like family. but most of all, i will miss working with my preceptor. maybe we can remain friends... prayer buddies.. i dont know. i'll be sad not being able to learn and see him every week but we'll see what God has in store for me, moving forward!!
starting off on the right foot
soooo, fourth year just started and....... HECK YEAH am i so pumped and ready to learn, to grow, and to see the way "Angelica Abad, BScN, RN" will shape out to be!! I've already done a couple of things that I probably wouldn't have done otherwise-- example: jumping the gun and contacting my preceptor first, who was impressed by my enthusiasm because, as he has said, "no student has ever contacted me first!" (and then we established out communication through text, where he texts like an actual Tito). but so far, fourth year has begun on a pretty enthusiastic note and i am so grateful for that.
i did my sim and skills lab by myself (as in, without signing up with a friend as a safety net. i just chose a date that would work and i happened to be in the same lab as people i already knew) and i am so glad i did! my sim lab group was small, but it was fun. for all the simulation labs we've had during nursing school, i've never been the nurse and i've always made an effort to avoid being the nurse. however, that day i volunteered to be the nurse for the second scenario, alongside stephanie. it was challenging, but so rewarding to be able to practice what may be a real scenario i could encounter within a safe space. All while being able to receive feedback from my peers and an experienced nurse! so i definitely wish i hadn't taken the sim labs for granted in the past, but that's all done and over with now.
and even though week 1 has just ended, there's already so many things to do that are piling up-- studying for HESI, reviewing for the NCLEX, group projects n such-- and it's getting a tad bit stressful, right now it's a good kind of stress. the wake up call stress that kicks your butt into action and makes you realize, "dude in 8 months i'd have graduated and on my way to getting my license. 4 years really few by". and i'm sure that is the reality check every one in this program, and all the friends that i have made over the years, are starting to realize now.
anyway, my first clinical day is on wednesday and i'm hella anxious but excited. im glad my preceptor seems willing to let me learn and willfully guide me on the right path, after being out of the game for a year and for being such a timid and shy nursing student for the first 2. it's never too late! the best time to start was yesterday, and the second best time to start is today as i always say. so praise God for allowing me to get here so far! and with all the support i have in my corner, i feel like no matter what may happen, i'll be able to get through it with my head held high. there's always something to be learned from every experience i have, but this year i'm going to take full advantage of the opportunities and keep seeing the positive in it all!
i did my sim and skills lab by myself (as in, without signing up with a friend as a safety net. i just chose a date that would work and i happened to be in the same lab as people i already knew) and i am so glad i did! my sim lab group was small, but it was fun. for all the simulation labs we've had during nursing school, i've never been the nurse and i've always made an effort to avoid being the nurse. however, that day i volunteered to be the nurse for the second scenario, alongside stephanie. it was challenging, but so rewarding to be able to practice what may be a real scenario i could encounter within a safe space. All while being able to receive feedback from my peers and an experienced nurse! so i definitely wish i hadn't taken the sim labs for granted in the past, but that's all done and over with now.
and even though week 1 has just ended, there's already so many things to do that are piling up-- studying for HESI, reviewing for the NCLEX, group projects n such-- and it's getting a tad bit stressful, right now it's a good kind of stress. the wake up call stress that kicks your butt into action and makes you realize, "dude in 8 months i'd have graduated and on my way to getting my license. 4 years really few by". and i'm sure that is the reality check every one in this program, and all the friends that i have made over the years, are starting to realize now.
anyway, my first clinical day is on wednesday and i'm hella anxious but excited. im glad my preceptor seems willing to let me learn and willfully guide me on the right path, after being out of the game for a year and for being such a timid and shy nursing student for the first 2. it's never too late! the best time to start was yesterday, and the second best time to start is today as i always say. so praise God for allowing me to get here so far! and with all the support i have in my corner, i feel like no matter what may happen, i'll be able to get through it with my head held high. there's always something to be learned from every experience i have, but this year i'm going to take full advantage of the opportunities and keep seeing the positive in it all!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)