but before i get ahead of myself, i want to write a post dedicated to my former mentor and favourite preceptor, who i did not expect to impact my life so greatly. i've talked about him few times to those willing to listen, but i think the stories that i tell them barely scratch the surface. my preceptor (who i won't mention here in case someone googles his name and finds my blog LOL) was eager to guide and teach me from the get go. as soon as i arrived on the units, there was no "hello nice to meet you!"-- instead, there was just "i do things fast, so try your best to keep up"--until our break at 8:30. it was then when the introductions took place: the hugs, the cards, the treats, and the warm welcome. right at the beginning, i could tell how dedicated he was to his work, putting his patients first and celebrations for later.
He taught me more than just what he needed to as a nursing preceptor. Here are just a few of the (non-nursing related) things that I've learned during our time together:
- The Importance of Squatting - I've had my gym membership with Goodlife for as almost as long as i've been working at mcdonalds, and that membership was not cheap. for a good few months there would be times where i would not go the gym at all. it almost feels like i've gone to the gym and actually worked out since september than i can remember from any other time of the year. it just so happened that as i began to push myself in the summer to go by myself to stay in shape (since april, my sister, and alanis all dropped their memberships to that gym), i also met my preceptor who is a super fitness freak. Squatting and gym jokes became part of our routine ("did you go to the gym this week?" "..." "i knew it"); it also motivated me to go, even when i didn't have the energy for it, just for the satisfaction of saying "yes i did". obviously, i didn't go to the gym for that reason alone. but it really gave me another push towards realizing how much i enjoy exercising and feeling strong! not to lose weight, but to reach my goal in building muscle to stop being a lanky bean so that i can do patient transfers with more confidence (since i'll be super deezed!)
- Coordinating your Scrubs - as a student, we don't get much leeway to express ourselves in our uniform. it's an ill-fitting uniform at best (the v-neck scoop is too low to be practical and the crotch in the pants so awkward). however, literally every single day i came in for a shift, my preceptor was coordinated literally from head to toe. From the colour of the pen caps, to the colour of his pencil topper eraser, his lanyard, and even his shoe laces and socks.. i'm not even exaggerating, it was impressive. he says its because men don't have that much variety in scrubs, so he does his best to make it work. but his uniform has come up as a topic of conversation, even from the patients. sometimes i think about what kind of scrubs i want to wear when i can wear whatever i want-- might opt for something a lot more practical (i.e. a good fit, sans deep v neck line, lots of pockets) but might have to draw inspiration from how dedicated he was to getting every detail right. he says he does it to brighten the days of his patients. i admire that.
- The Power of Prayer - from the looks of him, i wouldn't have expected him to be so devoted to his faith. but here we were, my second day there during our break, when he starts talking about how he got hit by car at age 14/15 somewhere along Birchmount Rd. when his life turned around and thus started his journey to pursue God. but it was amazing. his stories literally made me cry every single time. so tragic, so sad. you couldn't even tell this was his life when you see a guy who is also so happy and eager to help his patients. i was so intrigued to learn more & listen to his testimonies of faith, and i think that where the foundation of our friendship was developed. he taught me a lot of things surrounding our shared Catholic faith, and it came at a good time in my life. after going "wayward" (as he called it), halfway through this undergrad, doubting everything, doing things i couldn't imagine myself ever doing, and only starting to make my way back to him, i was really trying to get my feet back on the ground. trying to get a grasp on what it means to pursue holiness, to live that #BestLifeEver, seeking my purpose, and trying to make heads and tails of God's Love and His Plan for Me™. honestly i think he might have changed my life LOL. he's shown me to just be the best version of yourself. He's redefined what it means to F.L.EX, aka what it means to be a Faithful Living EXample. and i aspire to be as true to myself as i possibly can, even if it means people think i'm nutty for being a "Jesus Girl". the more you seek God, the more He will reveal Himself to you, and that is so rewarding in itself. "If God is for me, what can stand against me?"
- Love is Sacrifice - "love is sacrifice." Nice, what movie did he steal that line from? But in all seriousness, hearing that from him moved me. considering his current situation in his marriage, i cried. Like a baby. Love truly is sacrifice. He respects the sanctity of marriage so much so that he's done so much for the sake of keeping his family together. i wonder how he hasn't broken into pieces yet, when he's stretched so thin. it's dedication, it's pain, it's sacrifice. when he says things like, "i would have left my wife a long time ago..." or, "she's free to leave whenever she wants" or even, "it's painful getting the cold shoulder for 14 years, but i know it's the illness", it breaks my heart. He says, marry a person because you love them for who they are, not because you want to change them. Love them through sickness and in health. and his dedication and his love for his wife and family despite the hardships is an example of that sacrifice.
- Not Everyone is Perfect - despite how much i admire him, i know he's not perfect. Heck, when we went to watch Thor, he fought with a lady to move over from our AVX reserved seats even though the theatre was hella empty. even though he squats and lifts and bench presses at Fit4Less at the ungodly hour of 4AM, i know he is far from perfect. i can tell how much hurt and sorrow and regret and burden he carries on his shoulders, but this man does it all for God. how incredible is that?? even in his nursing practice, as awesome as he is, he makes mistakes too. he gets frustrated with the politics of the workplace, he gets frustrated with nurses who complain instead of getting work done, he gets frustrated with American doctors who prescribe stool softeners and laxatives for all their patients which means we have to change incontinent briefs too frequently for whats supposed to be a "Cardiac Services" floor. getting that text from him, "hey feeling sad and depressed. not sure if nursing is for me anymoe.." made me feel so sad because even the best of the best have it hard. Those who are so dedicated to what they do get worn down, battered, and exhausted. It's human.
after all that's said and done, i wish i could go back in time and appreciate every single moment even more. Never would i have found such a meaningful friend in him. I tried my best not to take it all for granted, considering how fulfilling of an experience my time was on that team & unit. but as he said, God is calling for the next chapter to happen in my life, so who am I to stop Him? i've learned all that i could under his mentorship, and i know our friendship will go beyond be passing the NCLEX and getting my RN. i look forward to even texting him the link to my convocation live stream, just so he can watch me get my diploma LOL. our time together has only fueled my excitement for the future even more, & because of that, my heart is so full.
Thank you for everything.
Thank you for everything.
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