lemme tell you something-- every time reading week comes around, it's always a shocker because i never realize how fast the weeks go by. 12 weeks a semester feels too short and it honestly feels like you blink once and suddenly it's exam season.
the past few weeks have been stressful, as I started off the school year with group assignments- the HESI case study facilitation and the NSE 407 presentation. That 407 presentation was stressful bc my group, as much as i respect them and like them, was so difficult for us to get together and I understand why.. i mean it's virtually impossible to get a group of 7 together when everyone has completely difference schedules, PLUS the difference in clinical shifts! But it was just frustrating knowing that we weren't really getting anywhere... but anyway, we finished the presentation with an 85% which is honestly pretty good considering we bullshitted our way through it. Sometimes group presentations are too much!
I've finished 6 clinical shifts so far I've learned so much. Every time I leave the floor, I learn so much more about nursing-- both the art and science of it. and I also learn about the meaning of being a Catholic from my preceptor, who never fails to move my heart in a way that makes me yearn to know Christ even more. and with my 21st birthday coming up, I'm just so thankful for all the great things i've experienced so far and all the blessings to be had. Life truly is a privilege, not a right.. I'm privileged by God to exist and pass through this word, loving others the way Christ did before us.
i've seen a patient die slowly, and although my preceptor had a feeling he would die and told me, i wasn't really prepared to see it happen. after all, i've only gone to one funeral a couple weeks before and death was an unfamiliar experience to me. while the failure to locate a radial pulse, failing to get a BP reading, and auscultating the chest to listen to the heart and hearing nothing was a cool experience, it was what my preceptor did that touched me even more-- we fixed up his bed and body and got him ready to pass a for the family to visit-- and my preceptor closed the patient's eyes and i found myself crying that i needed to step away for a moment to collect myself.
bella invited me to her birthday party and i was so touched and happy that she invited me-- it was so long since i've partied with them and seen them!!! i brought along allan just cause i thought he would enjoy going, and he did-- even though he was DD, im so glad he enjoyed himself. it was soo nice to see the others be happy to see him. i even caught up with Nayve which made me really happy!! he's so cute. but it was a fun night and just hyped me up for my own birthday bashes!!!!
finally, the HESI exit exam was a bit discouraging, scoring below the national average and the recommended average needed to positively predict a passing NCLEX score, but i'm even more determined to review and study and do even better for the next time. Considering i didnt study and that I was extremely constipated, i thought i did okay, i mean 60% is pretty good... right?! obviously if i wrote the NCLEX right here and now i would have wasted $300 and 4 hours of my life. Lol. so im trying to figure out a study guide to review all my weak points before the winter HESI exam (which is worth 25% lol).
Overall, my goal by december is to be able to feel more competent as a nurse. i already know my heart is going to break into a million pieces when my time on the unit is over. I will miss that team so much so i can see are really so much like family. but most of all, i will miss working with my preceptor. maybe we can remain friends... prayer buddies.. i dont know. i'll be sad not being able to learn and see him every week but we'll see what God has in store for me, moving forward!!
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