Dear diary.....
when i think back to our time on vacation, i wonder if i wasn't 'in the moment' enough. i tried to not touch my phone at all, or at least use the internet to go on social media, cuz i aint just paid 1k just to do things on the internet i could do at home, but still the 7 days went by soo quick, and the days oddly felt so... short? maybe it was because i was having a lot of fun that time slipped by without anyone noticing. i tried my best to preserve each day to my memory, so i can think back and remember what it was like to be sitting on the beach chairs, or eating dinner with my friends, or swimming in the ocean. despite initially being reluctant about this trip because of the $$ that came out of my savings fund, i thoroughly enjoyed it (minus being constipated) and did my best to make the most out of it, despite my fear of drowning and other things. to be honest i'm pretty psyched that i went and did the things i did-- swimming in the middle of the ocean, & even though it was shallow area, I STILL CRIED CUZ THE BOAT WAS DRIFTING DEEPER INTO THE WATER (bless that one guy's soul for noticing i was so scared and coming to be my 'water taxi' until it was shallow again), jumping off cliffs, snorkeling (even though i wish i could have gone into the deeper waters).. basically everything that had to do with water LOL. but even teaching myself to kind of float was pretty awesome too 😁
1 of my favourite parts was our photoshoot during the sunset-- i don't think anyone really understood or felt what i was seeing through my eyes at that point in time. that cast of blue, pink, and purple hues on everyone made it look eerily HIGH DEF, EVEN THOUGH SEEING LIFE THROUGH MY OWN DAMN EYES IS ALREADY HD... there was this surrealness to it that made me think, 'wow... God is so good'. each of the 8 people in front of me living completely unique lives and overlapping with mine through a friendship? simple and plain fun in taking photos on the beach? in fact, even seeing the vastness of that ocean was so overwhelming. it took me back to my cuba trip when i watched the ocean in the same manner, being pretty damn amazed that i was literally standing in a body of water so large, which means the earth is even larger, considering i took a mere 4 hr flight to be standing in a completely different country with an entirely different climate and culture and etc. etc... damn i still be thinking so pretentiously even on vacay? LOLjk no that was my revelation of my blessings being larger than life. God truly is so great.
i came home feeling nice and refreshed and excited for more travelling escapades in the future. i also came home sunburnt af and crispy with a scary amount of bug bites on my legs and a renewed sense of excitement for the future and rejuvenated love for my boyfriend, who i'm honestly really glad didn't come because i'm sure i had the most fun this way. I also came home to bare amount of shifts at tetsus. but this money is definitely going to be worth it-- it's a hard grind for a good future. my trust and faith in God still stands, although admittedly i haven't been getting acquainted with him as often as i used to or would like to, because of work. let's see what that CLS weekend will do to me lOL. but yeah... looking forward to my vancouver trip just as much, or maybe even more!! but gotta keep studying for the NCLEX lol!!!
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